MARRIAGE GOD’S WAY IS A COVENANT
- Evang. Patricia H. Dokes
- Dec 30, 2019
- 11 min read
Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."
Ephesians 4:2:“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
John 15:12: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."
1 Now for the matters you wrote about: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8 Now to the unmarriedOr "widowers" and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral
22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Ephesians 5:22-26 Amplified Bible (AMP)
Marriage Like Christ and the Church
22 Wives, be subject [a]to your own husbands, as [a service] to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives should be subject to their husbands in everything [respecting both their position as protector and their responsibility to God as head of the house].
25 Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God],
Footnotes:
Ephesians 5:22 The wife to her husband, not to men in general; not as inferior to him, nor in violation of her Christian ethics, but honoring her husband as protector and head of the home, respecting the responsibility of his position and his accountability to God.
Genesis 2:18 18 Now the Lord God said, “It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him—a counterpart who is] [i]suitable and complementary for him.” 19 So the Lord God formed out of the ground every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 20 And the man gave names to all the livestock, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helper [that was] suitable (a companion) for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 And the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He made (fashioned, formed) into a woman, and He brought her and presented her to the man. 23 Then Adam said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed or embarrassed.
Ephesians 5:25-33 Amplified Bible (AMP)
25 Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God], 27 so that [in turn] He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless. 28 Even so husbands should and are morally obligated to love their own wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own body, but [instead] he nourishes and protects and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members (parts) of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined [and be faithfully devoted] to his wife, and the two shall become [a]one flesh. 32 This mystery [of two becoming one] is great; but I am speaking with reference to [the relationship of] Christ and the church. 33 However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].
Footnotes:
Ephesians 5:31 The bond between husband and wife supersedes all other relationships.
Proverbs 19:13-14 A foolish (ungodly) son is destruction to his father,
And the contentions of a [quarrelsome] wife are like a constant dripping [of water].
House and wealth are the inheritance from fathers,
But a wise, understanding, and sensible wife is [a gift and blessing] from the Lord.
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop [on the flat roof, exposed to the weather]
Than in a house shared with a quarrelsome (contentious) woman.
1 Peter 3 Amplified Bible (AMP)
Godly Living
3 In the same way, you wives, be [a]submissive to your own husbands [subordinate, not as inferior, but out of respect for the responsibilities entrusted to husbands and their accountability to God, and so partnering with them] so that even if some do not obey the word [of God], they may be won over [to Christ] without discussion by the godly lives of their wives, 2 when they see your modest and respectful behavior [together with your devotion and appreciation—love your husband, encourage him, and enjoy him as a blessing from God]. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external—with interweaving and elaborate knotting of the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in expensive clothes; 4 but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands and adapting themselves to them; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham [following him and having regard for him as head of their house], calling him [b]lord. And you have become her daughters if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear [that is, being respectful toward your husband but not giving in to intimidation, nor allowing yourself to be led into sin, nor to be harmed].
7 In the same way, you husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way [with great gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship], as with [c]someone physically weaker, since she is a woman. Show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered or ineffective.
8 Finally, all of you be like-minded [united in spirit], sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted [courteous and compassionate toward each other as members of one household], and humble in spirit; 9 and never return evil for evil or insult for insult [avoid scolding, berating, and any kind of abuse], but on the contrary, give a blessing [pray for one another’s well-being, contentment, and protection]; for you have been called for this very purpose, that you might inherit a blessing [from God that brings well-being, happiness, and protection]. 10 For,“The one who wants to enjoy life and see good days [good—whether apparent or not], Must keep his tongue free from evil and his lips from speaking guile (treachery, deceit).
11 “He must turn away from wickedness and do what is right.
He must search for peace [with God, with self, with others] and pursue it eagerly [actively—not merely desiring it].
12 “For the eyes of the Lord are [looking favorably] upon the righteous (the upright),
And His ears are attentive to their prayer (eager to answer),
But the face of the Lord is against those who practice evil.”
Mark 10 Amplified Bible (AMP)
Jesus’ Teaching about Divorce
10:1 Getting up, He left there (Capernaum) and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan; and crowds gathered around Him again and accompanied Him, and as was His custom, He once more began to teach them.
2 Pharisees came to Jesus to test Him [intending to trick Him into saying something wrong], and asked Him, “Is it lawful [according to Scripture] for a man to divorce his wife and send her away?” 3 He replied to them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of hearts [your callousness and insensitivity toward your wives and the [a]provision of God] he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. 7 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother [to establish a home with his wife], 8 and the two shall become one flesh; so that they are no longer two, but [are united as] one flesh. 9 Therefore, what God has united and joined together, man must not separate [by divorce].”
10 In the house the disciples began questioning Him again about this. 11 And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; 12 and if a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Family Relations
Colossians 3:18 Wives, be [e]subject to your husbands [out of respect for their position as protector, and their accountability to God], as is proper and [f]fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives [with an affectionate, sympathetic, selfless love that always seeks the best for them] and do not be embittered or resentful toward them [because of the responsibilities of marriage]. 20 Children, obey your parents [as God’s representatives] in all things, for this [attitude of respect and obedience] is well-pleasing [g]to the Lord [and will bring you God’s promised blessings]. 21 Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or exasperate your children [with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by favoritism or indifference; treat them tenderly with lovingkindness], so they will not lose heart and become discouraged or unmotivated [with their spirits broken].
Description of a Worthy Woman
Proverbs 31:10-31 [d]An excellent woman [one who is spiritual, capable, intelligent, and virtuous], who is he who can find her?
Her value is more precious than jewels and her worth is far above rubies or pearls.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her [with secure confidence],
And he will have no lack of gain.
12 She comforts, encourages, and does him only good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She looks for wool and flax
And works with willing hands in delight.
14 She is like the merchant ships [abounding with treasure];
She brings her [household’s] food from far away.
15 She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And assigns tasks to her maids.
16 She considers a field before she buys or accepts it [expanding her business prudently];
With her profits she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard.
17 She equips herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] And makes her arms strong.
18 She sees that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out, but it burns continually through the night [she is prepared for whatever lies ahead].
19 She stretches out her hands to the [e]distaff,
And her hands hold the spindle [as she spins wool into thread for clothing].
20 She opens and extends her hand to the poor,
And she reaches out her filled hands to the needy.
21 She does not fear the snow for her household,
For all in her household are clothed in [expensive] scarlet [wool].
22 She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry.Her clothing is linen, pure and fine, and purple [wool].
23 Her husband is known in the [city’s] gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes [fine] linen garments and sells them; And supplies sashes to the merchants.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure;
And she smiles at the future [knowing that she and her family are prepared].
26 She opens her mouth in [skillful and godly] wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue [giving counsel and instruction].
27 She looks well to how things go in her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, prosperous, to be admired);
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying,
29 “Many daughters have done nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], [f]But you excel them all.”
30 Charm and grace are deceptive, and [superficial] beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord [reverently worshiping, obeying, serving, and trusting Him with awe-filled respect], she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the product of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city].
1 Peter 8 Above all, have [c]fervent and unfailing love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins [it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others].
Psalm 85:10 Steadfast love and truth and faithfulness meet together;
Righteousness and peace kiss each other.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; 10 for if [a]either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, then they keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? 12 And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
Deuteronomy 24:5 Amplified Bible (AMP)“When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out [to fight] with the army nor be charged with any duty; he shall be free at home for one year and shall bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken.
1 Timothy 3:2-4 Amplified Bible (AMP) 2 Now an overseer must be blameless and beyond reproach, the husband of one wife, self-controlled, sensible, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not addicted to wine, not [b]a bully nor quick-tempered and hot-headed, but gentle and considerate, free from the love of money [not greedy for wealth and its inherent power—financially ethical]. 4 He must manage his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity [keeping them respectful and well-behaved]
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